LESSON THREE

Kind Tone of Voice

 Follow-u p

 (As a family discuss the assignment for the lesson Kind Words.)

  1.  How are we doing with using kind words in our family?

  2. Who can tell us about a compliment they gave, or tell about a compliment received from a family member?

 Concept

Many times it isn't what is said, but rather how it's said that makes people happy or unhappy. One way to show kindness is to use a gentle tone of voice when we speak. It takes great effort at times, but speaking kindly can become a habit.

Our voices carry a great deal of power and send messages to those around us. When we speak loudly and harshly, people around us often feel upset. On the other hand, when we speak kindly it encourages feelings of love, calmness and respect.

As we speak with gentle tones, we'll discover improved feelings in our home, and we'll help create a loving atmosphere. Additionally, when our voice is controlled, we feel better about ourselves than when we lose control. Because we teach best through our example, those who speak with gentle voices will be pleased to hear others speak that way too.

Another benefit is that calm voices lead to good behavior. If we want our family to behave with love towards one another, one of the best things we can do is to speak gently. It makes sense that the opposite is also true. If we want others to behave well, one of the worst things we can do is speak harshly.

Using a kind tone of voice will help us prevent family problems, make our home a nice place to be, and deepen the love we feel for one another.

Family Survey Review

Statement # 3 - We use a kind tone of voice when we speak.

  • How will speaking kindly in our family make a difference in the atmosphere of our home?

  • How can we each improve a little in this area?

 

STORY

John had a long, difficult day at work. He was exhausted. While he was driving home, John passed a park and noticed a young father playing with his two sons. They were laughing and enjoying themselves. John thought about his own children. He knew he could be a better father.

As John continued on toward home, he made a decision. John decided that no matter what happened that evening, he would use a kind tone of voice. Even though he was tired, John promised himself he'd speak kindly.

When John arrived home his wife asked how his day had been. Instead of his usual grumbling about problems at work, John cheerfully replied, "Well, things could've been better, but I'm sure glad to be home!"

All evening John spoke kindly to his wife and children. Even when an irritated employee phoned and angrily complained about work, John responded calmly and kindly. An amazing thing happened. John set the tone of kindness in the home, and his family followed his example. Just before bedtime, Matthew, one of the children, said, "Gosh, something is different around here. Everybody's so-so happy!"

John then told his family about the decision he had made on the way home from work after he saw the young father playing in the park with his sons. John confessed that he had no idea what a difference using a kind tone of voice could make in their home. Matthew spoke up and asked, "Hey, Dad, does that mean we can go play ball in the park tomorrow?" They all laughed, and John agreed to take him.

Discussion

1.      What is the first step we need to take to change our behavior? (Recognize that improvement is needed.)

2.      What happened to help John recognize that he needed to be a better father? (He saw a man playing with his sons and knew he could improve.)

3.      What was one way John decided he could improve? (Use a kind tone of voice with his family.)

4.      Is it sometimes easier to speak more pleasantly to our friends than to our family? Why?

Activity

There are five sentences we're going to read out loud together. First we'll say them unkindly, then we'll say the same sentence using a kind tone of voice. (Hold up the page so everyone can read it together)

1.      COME TO BREAKFAST. 

2.      WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE. 

3.      SHUT THE DOOR. 

4.      CAN YOU LISTEN TO ME? 

5.      I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND.

Assignment

During the coming week if you use a harsh tone of voice, immediately repeat what you said, using a better tone of voice. You'll be amazed at how soon you can change, until using a kind tone of voice becomes a habit.

For example, parents with young children: If your child yells, "Mama, tie my shoe!" You say, "Tone of voice." Then you use a kind tone of voice and say, "Mama, please tie my shoe." Have the child repeat your example exactly. When he has spoken correctly, you exclaim, "Yes! That's the right way we talk!" and give him a hug.

For parents with older children: Speak kindly-be an example to them. When parents speak calmly, they can often diffuse anger. Further, parents shouldn't allow disrespectful, unkind talk in their homes. It is their responsibility to be good examples in teaching their children to be kind.