April 15, 1999

In the lab, the way a married couple fights can often tell psychologists more than what they fight about. The expressions and underlying emotions displayed during a conflict may reveal the strength or weakness of the marriage. During a couple's 15-minute conversation—on a topic known to be a sore point—researchers at the University of Washington measure physiological responses (below) and facial expressions, which can reveal true feelings even when words don't. Videotapes also show how long the partners' emotional responses last—even the happiest of couples has fleeting moments of bad feeling, but if the negative indicators tend to endure, it can signal a marriage in trouble.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Surprise: A big smile, with popping eyes, indicates a positive surprise. Something unexpected but unpleasant yields the eye-pop only. Either way, a short-lived state.
Interest: A calm voice and positive body language—leaning forward, for example—signal the genuine article. It's a real desire to hear a partner's opinion, not an attempt to influence.

Anger: The tone is cold or loud, the wording staccato. But honest anger, an internal state, is different from contempt, directed at the spouse. A fake smile, without raised cheeks, may mask anger.

Domineering: A "low and slow" voice often signals that one partner is trying to force the other to his or her view. Ranges from lawyerly cross-examination to blatant threats.

Fear: Outright fear is rare; a lower-grade version—tension— is more common. And a wife's tension, if pronounced, can be a predictor for divorce down the road.

Sadness: Passivity and sulking can look like stonewalling or disengaging from a fight, but sad people maintain more eye contact than stonewallers.

Contempt: If prolonged, this expression is a red alert. Especially when accompanied by sarcasm and insults, it suggests a marriage in serious trouble.

Newsweek

If you are interested in additional information, or would like to set up a Families Worldwide Chapter in your community, please feel free to contact us via e-mail.

Families Worldwide
75 East Fort Union Blvd.
Salt Lake City, UT 84047
USA

Fax us: USA 801/562-6008,
or Call us: USA 801/562-6185

Send comments and mail to Webmaster