Dealing With Depression

By Patricia Tanner Nelson

Individual Depression

Many experts believe that some people's body chemistry makes them depression-prone, then stressful situations trigger the depression. While this triggering event differs from person to person, it often grows out of such occurrences as the loss of a loved one. For farmers, losing a crop or a loan often leads to depression.

Not all depressed people share the same symptoms. Some people exhibit many symptoms, others only a few. Here are some of them:

• sad appearance, slow movements, and an unkempt look
• guilt and low self-esteem
• negative thoughts
• reduced activity
• reduced ability to concentrate
• avoiding people
• physical problems: weight loss or gain, trouble sleeping, headaches, and decreased interest in sex
• suicidal thoughts

Relieving Depression

Participating in planned activities, such as attending church, can relieve depression. Also:

Get busy on activities you enjoyed before. Do not cut yourself off from family and friends. Attend events with others even if you do not feel like talking or going out.

Stay active. Exercise to counteract the lethargy of depression.

Watch your diet. Eat healthy foods to keep your energy level high.

Read. Many self-help books and pamphlets are available to help you understand your emotions and overcome problem areas in your life.

Answer these questions: Do I really want to change? What benefits do I get from depression? Do I really want to feel and live this way for the rest of my life? Seek help if you:

• are thinking about suicide;
• are experiencing severe mood swings;
• think your depression relates to other problems that require professional help;
• think you would feel better if you talked with someone;
• do not feel in control enough to handle matters yourself.

Locate help through people you know: such as your physician, a trusted nurse, or your pastor. Or call the local mental health center--look up Mental Health Services in the telephone directory.

Living With A Depressed Person

Depressed people need more than the usual amount of understanding from friends and family, but they can be very unpleasant. The anger and lack of concern that a depressed person shows can be very disturbing to someone trying to help. A depressed person may feel unworthy of someone's friendship and question a friend or relative's sincerity. Withdrawal can make it difficult to encourage a depressed person to engage in activities that may chase away his or her blues.

It is often difficult for a depressed person to carry on a conversation. Questioning him or her about the condition may prompt shrugs simply because the person really does not know what is wrong. Though it can drain the encouragers, reassurance is important.

While being supportive and understanding, friends or family members must be careful not to do too much for the depressed person. A very thin line separates being supportive and being overprotective. Doing too much for someone who "just can't seem to get things done" can cause dependency--and guilt over being indebted to someone else.

You can help a depressed friend or relative by considering these points: Do not moralize. Do not pressure him or her to "Put on a happy face" or to "Snap out of it." Often the person will feel even worse after hearing such statements.

Be available. When you are alone with your depressed friend, you might say something like, "I've noticed lately that you're down. I care about you and would like to listen to what you're thinking about." Then be a good listener.

Do not say, "I know exactly how you feel." You probably do not. But if you have had similar experiences, sharing those may help. Say things like, "This happened to me. It might help you." Or "I know some of what you must be feeling." Urge him or her to get professional help if necessary. Offer to accompany your friend to the first visit since that may make the trip easier.

Watch for signs of suicide. Sometimes people who are thinking about killing themselves give away cherished belongings or preface comments with "After I m gone...". If you think suicide is an immediate possibility, do not leave your friend. Contact a mental health professional as quickly as you can.

Depression Is Common

Everybody has a "bum day" now and then, but if you or someone you love feels down day after day, depression could be the cause. There is a way to get better. Learn the symptoms of depression and how it affects a person, then act for a positive future.

This publication has been issued in print by the North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service as publication number AG-517-5 (December 1994).

This file is one in a series of electronically available drought information publications produced with support from the U.S. Department of Agriculture, Extension Service, under special project number 93-EFRA-1-0013. The Drought Disaster Recovery Project was a joint effort of the Extension Services in Delaware, Georgia, North Carolina, South Carolina, and Virginia.

Published by

NORTH CAROLINA COOPERATIVE EXTENSION SERVICE
North Carolina State University, Raleigh, North Carolina

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