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ERIC Digest
Shirley G. Moore
EDO-PS-92-6
As a child leaves infancy and approaches
toddlerhood, one of the tasks parents face is introducing the
child to the peer group. To be sure, parents are interested in
their child's earliest interactions with peers, but in time,
parents become more seriously invested in their children's ability
to get along with playmates. Getting along has different
meanings for different parents, but in general, parents want
their child to enjoy the company of other children, be liked
by them, be well-behaved in their presence (for example, share
and cooperate with them), and resist the influence of companions
who are overly boisterous, aggressive or defiant of adult authority.
How do parents help their child become a socially competent,
well-liked playmate who is not too easily influenced by ill-behaved
peers? What do we know from research literature in this area?
Inasmuch as peer relations is only one of many social relationships
that a child must master, it is not surprising that research
on parenting styles gives some helpful insights into development
of social skills in the peer group. A number of investigators,
such as Diana Baumrind, Martin Hoffman, and Martha Putallaz,
have made significant contributions to this topic.
The research of Diana Baumrind is particularly noteworthy.
Baumrind has published a series of studies on the relation between
parental child rearing styles and social competence in children
of preschool and school age. Data on nursery school children
were obtained from observations in a school setting and in laboratory
test situations when the children were approximately four to
five years of age. Data on the children's parents were obtained
through home observations and interviews of both mothers and
fathers. Three contrasting parenting styles were identified by
Baumrind: authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative, each
of which has implications for the child's social competence with
peers and adults. The three parenting styles differ particularly
on two parenting dimensions: the amount of nurturance in child-rearing
interactions and the amount of parental control over the child's
activities and behavior.
Authoritarian parents tend to be low in nurturance and high
in parental control compared with other parents. They set absolute
standards of behavior for their children that are not to be questioned
or negotiated. They favor forceful discipline and demand prompt
obedience. Authoritarian parents also are less likely than others
to use more gentle methods of persuasion, such as affection,
praise and rewards, with their children. Consequently, authoritarian
parents are prone to model the more aggressive modes of conflict
resolution and are lax in modeling affectionate, nurturant behaviors
in their interactions with their children.
In sharp contrast, permissive parents tend to be moderate
to high in nurturance, but low in parental control. These parents
place relatively few demands on their children and are likely
to be inconsistent disciplinarians. They are accepting of the
child's impulses, desires, and actions and are less likely than
other parents to monitor their children's behavior. Although
their children tend to be friendly, sociable youngsters, compared
with others their age they lack a knowledge of appropriate behaviors
for ordinary social situations and take too little responsibility
for their own misbehavior.
Authoritative parents, in contrast to both authoritarian and
permissive parents, tend to be high in nurturance and moderate
in parental control when it comes to dealing with child behavior.
It is this combination of parenting strategies that Baumrind
and others find the most facilitative in the development of social
competence during early childhood and beyond. The following discussion
describes specific behaviors used by authoritative parents and
the role these behaviors play in fostering social development.
The Case for High Nurturance
Nurturing behaviors of parents that
predict social competence include affectionate and friendly interaction
with the child; consideration for the child's feelings, desires
and needs; interest in the child's daily activities; respect
for the child's points of view; expression of parental pride
in the child's accomplishments; and support and encouragement
during times of stress in the child's life.
The advantages of high levels of nurturance in fostering social
development have been confirmed again and again in studies of
children. These advantages begin in infancy, when maternal nurturance
facilitates a secure attachment which, in turn, predicts social
competence, and continue throughout childhood. High levels of
nurturance in child rearing virtually assure more positive adult-child
interactions than negative ones in the day-to-day operations
of family life. This, in turn, predisposes the child to return
love to the parent and to enjoy spending time with the parent,
thus increasing the possibilities of significant parental influence
throughout childhood. Parental nurturance also motivates the
child to please the parent by striving to live up to parental
expectations and helps to keep the child from hurting or disappointing
the loved parent. Because children more readily identify with
nurturant than nonnurturant models, the children of nurturing
parents are more likely to incorporate parental values, such
as considerateness and fairness in interpersonal relations, into
their own lifestyle. One would also expect these children to
resist peer group values that are clearly different from family
values.
If there is a downside to high levels of nurturance in child
rearing, it is the risk that nurturant parents might be more
lax than other parents in challenging their children to measure
up to developmentally appropriate standards for behavior. This
risk would appear to be reduced, however, by the authoritative
parents' inclination to combine moderate levels of parental control
with nurturance.
The Case of Moderate Control
Nurturant parents who maintain at least
a moderate level of control over their child do not give up their
right to set behavioral standards for the child and to convey
the importance of compliance with those standards. To facilitate
compliance, and as a courtesy to the child, authoritative parents
offer reasons and explanations for the demands placed on their
children. Evidence suggests that such a practice increases the
child's understanding of rules and regulations, eventually making
it possible for the child to monitor his or her behavior in the
absence of the parent.
Parents who use authoritative child rearing practices often
use positive reinforcers, such as praise, approval, and rewards,
to increase the child's compliance with behavioral standards.
The success of positive social reinforcement in producing desirable
behavior is legendary. A parent's positive response to good behavior
may be the most powerful tool the parent has for increasing child
compliance and decreasing the need for disciplinary action.
When misbehavior does occur and discipline is deemed necessary,
authoritative parents show a preference for "rational-inductive
discipline," in which both sides of an issue are stated
and a just solution is sought. These parents also prefer "consequence-oriented
discipline" in which children are expected to make up for
their wrongdoing. Martin Hoffman points out that this disciplinary
strategy has the advantage of focusing the child's attention
on the plight of the victim rather than on the child's plight
at the hands of an angry parent.
Finally, authoritative parents try to avoid the more extreme
forms of punishment in rearing their children. They do not favor
harsh physical punishment or put-downs, such as ridicule or negative
social comparison, which attack the child's sense of personal
worth. Although the harsher forms of punishment can be effective
in the short run, they often generate resentment and hostility
that carry over to the school and peer group, reducing the child's
effectiveness in these settings.
Summary
In parenting, as in other endeavors,
nothing works all of the time. It is safe to say, however, that
authoritative parenting works better than most other parenting
styles in facilitating the development of social competence in
children at home and in the peer group. High levels of nurturance
combined with moderate levels of control help adults be responsible
child rearing agents for their children and help children become
mature, competent members of society. With a little bit of luck,
the children of authoritative parents should enjoy more than
their share of success in the peer group.
EDITOR'S NOTE:
This is the third in a series of three ERIC/EECE digests that
focus on children's peer relationships as educational contexts.
These digests are adapted from articles that originally appeared
in the Fall 1991 (Vol. 19, No. 1) issue of the Early Report
of the University of Minnesota's Center for Early Education and
Development.
For More Information
Baumrind, D. "Current Patterns of Parental Authority."
Developmental Psychology Monographs 4 (1971): 1-103.
Hoffman, M.L. "Moral Internationalization, Parental Power,
and the Nature of Parent-Child Interaction." Developmental
Psychology 11 (1975): 228-239. EJ 116 432.
Putallaz, M. "Maternal Behavior and Children's Sociometric
Status." Child Development 58 (1987): 324-340. EJ
354 567.
General References on Peer Relations:
Asher, S.R., and Coie, J.D. Eds. Peer Rejection in Childhood.
New York: Cambridge University Press, 1990.
Ramsey, P.G. Making Friends in School: Promoting Peer Relationships
in Early Childhood. New York: Teacher's College Press, 1991.
References identified with an ED (ERIC document)number are
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This publication was funded by the Office of Educational Research
and Improvement, U.S. Department of Education, under contract
no. OERI 88-062012. Opinions expressed in this report do not
necessarily reflect the positions or policies of OERI. ERIC Digests
are in the public domain and may be freely reproduced and disseminated.
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