By Mark Strong

"I hate this family!" seventeen-year-old Billy Smith yelled as he ran out of the house, slamming the front door behind him. Like so many times before, what had begun as a discussion with his parents about being home on time had quickly escalated into an angry exchange of words.

As the roar of the car engine and the squeal of tires were heard outside, Billy's father, Tom, angry and frustrated, exclaimed, "Peggy, why does he do this? We do everything for him and he treats us like dirt!"

Eighteen years earlier, this scene could never have been imagined. From the time she first felt the new life within, Peggy loved that precious, unborn baby. And Tom? Tom couldn't have been prouder when he brought his firstborn home from the hospital.

As Billy grew, wonderful milestones were achieved. His first tooth, his first steps, his first day at kindergarten, and his first little league ball team. Son Billy and Mom and Dad were so happy. It was great to be best friends and confidantes.

But that was years ago. Something happened that changed everything. Now, instead of best friends, the relationship was strained and awkward. Instead of home being a haven from the world for parents and son, it had become a war zone, with the battle lines drawn around the issues of time to be home, choice of friends, school grades. For far too long, Billy had felt mistrusted, nagged, unwanted. And Mom and Dad felt used, unappreciated, disrespected. Where was their relationship going? Why couldn't it be the way it used to be?

The most pressing of all society's problems is the deterioration of the family unit. The Tom and Peggy Smiths of the world are our neighbors, our friends, our work associates. Perhaps they are us. Many have tried so hard for so long that they are discouraged, often too discouraged to continue on or even reach out for help. But help and hope are possible.

May I suggest that the greatest resource to solving society's problems lies within the hearts and homes of families and individual family members. This resource is the universal love of parents for their children and a desire for their children to lead happy, productive lives.

The key to strong, happy families lies in nurturing and cultivating that universal love of parents for their children.

As the hearts of fathers and mothers are turned to their children in expressions and acts of gentleness and kindness, lasting family bonds are nurtured and strengthened and true happiness is attained.

In January of this year, my associate, Brad Stone, and I were invited by the city of Dallas, Texas, to come and present our two-day workshop, which we call "Creating Happy Families." We were to train the trainers, who in turn would work with individual families.

In preparation for this workshop, we asked ourselves, "What is it we want to accomplish?" Clearly, we wanted to teach correct principles and provide useful tools. But to be truly effective and have a lasting impact, we knew we needed to arouse the tender emotions and touch the hearts of the trainers.

We began each workshop by sharing fond memories of our own families, and then invited the participants to do likewise.

Memories shared by the group included: Breakfast that Dad cooked every Saturday morning; Catching lightning bugs with brothers and sisters; Walking to church every Sunday with the family; Telling ghost stories around the dinner table; Family prayer.

It was interesting that at the outset, we were basically strangers, but within the hour there was genuine warmth and friendship felt among the participants. Happy family memories indeed work magic, in many ways.

We then proceeded with the rest of the workshop. We discussed key characteristics that constitute strong healthy families. We introduced the Family Profile, which consists of a series of questions designed to help individual families evaluate themselves and how they are doing in relationship to 7 key areas. We presented activities and suggestions to assist families to strengthen themselves in those key areas.

We discussed the concept, that if families are to succeed, there must be time set aside weekly that is just family time--a time when the stresses and pressures of the outside world are set aside. And yes, where they exist, ill feelings between family members must be set aside as well. The spirit of contention is a destructive force. The spirit of love has a wonderfully healing influence. The weekly family time is a time to make happy, pleasant memories. We called this time the "Golden Hour," and gave some helpful suggestions for implementation.

We concluded the training the same way we began, by inviting the participants to share their feelings about families. The second time around the sharing tended to be more personal and with more emotion. Frequently tears were shed as the participants shared sacred family memories and heartfelt desires for their own families.

Strong, happy families are like beautiful flower gardens--they are the pride and joy of the gardener. But they don't happen by accident. They are the result of long, consistent efforts to plan, to cultivate and nourish. As Harold B. Lee stated, "The greatest work we will ever do will be within the walls of our own home."

Hard work? Yes!

But oh, the joy and happiness that can be ours as we lovingly and patiently cultivate our beautiful gardens!

When a man and a woman, legally and lawfully married, join in partnership with God in the miracle of procreation--when we, as mothers and fathers, lovingly nurture our sons to noble manhood and our daughters to beautiful womanhood, can there be any greater joy or happiness?

As the Psalmist declared:

Marriage and parenting are ordained of God. May He bless us in our homes and families; and may He bless you and like-minded men and women around the world who are engaged in the great cause of this Congress.

Thank you.

Families Worldwide sent three delegates: BRAD STONE, Chairman/C.E.O., MARK STRONG, President, and CHARLES HALL, Director of Family History to The World Congress of Families I.

MARK STRONG, President of Families Worldwide, addressed the Delegates on the afternoon of 20 March.